How to Deal With Big Life Changes
The only thing constant in life is change. Just when you think things are solid and rooted and maybe become monotonous, something big happens. Something that we choose to handle well or not so well.
Big life changes can come in the form of super awesome things, like going to a foreign country for the first time, getting a letter from a long lost friend or finally getting married. Or they can come in the form of not so awesome things like the death love one or loosing your home, failing an entrance exam. These not so awesome changes are the ones that challenge us, make us think harder and help us grow. They are the ones that fill us with doubt, fear, sadness, anxiety, all the emotions that require lots of inward reflection and personal growth.
Leymus cinereus
I am currently going through a huge life change. One that was very unexpected and not something you want to hear. Don’t worry no one died. My landlord informed me that he’s selling the house I’ve been renting for years and would like me out by December. This was an utterly devastating shock. Things were going so well, I was planning on staying here for many years more. I put in garden and a berry patch, even a mushroom bed. I loved and cared for this home like it was my own. And then it was ripped away from me. You are probably thinking, if he’s selling it, why don’t you buy it? Well, he’s selling it for more than my single work at home mom status could dream of paying for it.
As I walked this afternoon to clear my head after a whirlwind few days of trying to figure out what to do, I realized that I handle big changes in certain way and I wanted to share those with you.
Cry all the tears. When BIG things happen to me good or bad, I tend to cry first. I can’t help it. If it’s bad I cry and cry until all the initial shock is over. It’s quite cathartic. You might have a different reaction such and yelling, breaking stuff, or running…. We all have initial shock reactions.
Sleep on it. After I have cried all my initial emotions out I then just take time to do something else entirely and that usually involves sleeping on it. Once I wake up refreshed I can then move on to step three.
Make a plan. Once I’m refreshed and have had some time to sit with the new change I begin to make a plan. It usually involves figuring out as many options as I have and which ones are the most practical in the time I have to deal with whatever has just changed. I often come up with a plan A, B and C. C being the most outrageous plan like putting all my stove and my kids stuff in storage moving into our camper and living like nomads.
Make a check list. A great way to feel empowered after a huge change is to make some check lists. Once I have my plans picked out I make a check list of all the tasks I can do to make my new plan happen. Checking things off allows me to feel like I’m moving forward even if it’s slow. A checklist can also get extra thoughts out of your head and on to paper so you have less stuff to remember in a busy time.
Move on. My mother always told me growing up that when one door closes another opens. Sometimes you have something that is super awesome and for reasons out of your control it gets taken away. Dwelling on what you lost and allowing it to cloud your mind with sadness or anger or whatever it makes you feel, isn’t productive. It can greatly increase your stress levels. At this point I being to picture my life going down this new path and I start to manifest with my new plan.
If you were a kid in the 90’s you probably remember watching the movie Forest Gump. He sits on park bench and says the most clichè thing:
“Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you are going to get.” ~ Forest Gump.
Seriously Forest, you never know what you are going to get out of life. It’s how you step up that matters. How do you deal with changes? Let me know in the comments below! I hope my process can help you too.
